I don’t ever want to come off like I’m looking for pity. I want to share my life in stories to possibly help others who might have gone through the same thing so we can heal together. With that said………..
I never thought of myself as a “worthy” person. I’ve always felt like I’ve had to earn every little thing in life; from praise to affection. So my relationships were always of the toxic kind. Me doing everything to please someone who was there to use me. I always tended to go after the guys I thought would be into me, not the guys I knew would be good for me.
I think I had to go through all the jerks to really appreciate just how amazing my current relationship is. He gives me the strength to be myself and it is so refreshing to be able to just “be” in a relationship. I don’t have to have the perfect hair and makeup because he sees my inner beauty. He’s protective but not controlling. And most of all he’s supportive of all my decisions. Granted, he doesn’t agree with some of them but he gives his opinion and his experience and lets me learn on my own. (Most of the time I’m admitting he was right afterwards! LMAO)
He has given me the strength to finally become “myself” again. The road to that point has definitely not been easy, but he hasn’t given up on me and I refuse to give up on him. Both of our pasts have been full of disappointment and hurt, but I am looking forward to our beautiful future together. 5 1/2 years so far and we’re still strong.
Most people look at him and see his hard outer shell. He is an extremely serious man who is set firm in his beliefs and I feel sorry for anyone who crosses him or messes with his loved ones.
I am lucky enough to see the OTHER side. How he loves his daughter, niece and nephew more than the world. The way he will never just outright give a compliment, but will lightweight talk shit with a twinkle in his eye and a smirk on his face. His patience (that will be hard for most to believe who know him) with me and our crazy pack of dogs.
I am so grateful that whatever it was that pushed me to pursue the gorgeous man with the long hair and the blue eyes that matched his Harley. Even though I think both of us were expecting a totally different outcome to our relationship.
I have found where I need to be in live and love and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.