We met when we were both in transition from our past lives as addicts. Something about the way he moved, moved something inside me. He was different than anyone I had ever encountered. I knew I had to go about things different with him.
Usually super shy and reserved, I decided to dive in head first and be the one to pursue him. I knew from that first ride on his Harley that I found “home.”
I was warned by the others who had tried to win his heart (and failed) that he was angry and mean and temperamental. That it would only be a matter of time before I realized this and I’d leave him alone. One look into those sapphire blue eyes showed more.
There was a wall up, for sure. Years of other’s lies, games, and lack of compassion for him made him harder than steel on the outside. It took me refusing to leave his side after his motorcycle accident to cut down that wall and prove I wasn’t like the others who only wanted him when he had something to offer.
I was (and still am) far from perfect. Years of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse left me damaged. I still battle daily with my demons but their numbers have dwindled. I often wonder if he saw the same thing in my eyes as I did with his.
8 years have gone by and I still get those butterflies watching him do even the most mundane things. The way he looks as he’s getting dressed for the day, the way his pants sit on his hips, the way he closes his eyes and has the slightest smile on his face as I braid his hair, watching him cook or do dishes (yeah, I definitely found a winner), the way he takes care of me and our dogs with a compassion I didn’t know a man could possess, and the way he supports my passions whole heartedly.
I believe all my struggles helped prepare me for him. They helped me realize how bad things could be so that I could appreciate just how amazing he is. While nothing is ever perfect, I’ve found someone close enough. I’m still in awe he chose me.
Love is finally easy.